An old passion slowly reshaping my career goals and personal pursuits

During my teenage years (and early double-digit age years if you count musical theatre), music was my life. I couldn't imagine pursuing anything else. I wanted to become an original artist and tour the world.

Children's theatre afforded me some singing experience, more so in the context of stage presence and less about actual technique. Nevertheless, I knew I enjoyed it and wanted to branch out from just acting.

I started taking voice lessons and playing guitar when I was 14 (in the above photo, 2010). My happiness skyrocketed and my life was set, I was confident.

Every opportunity I got, I would perform with my guitar around my hometown whether it was at a neighbor's party, school performance (first photo below), open mic night at a nearby restaurant, or even just in the park down the street from my house. My cousin also asked me to play at her wedding (second photo), which was an honor. I would even bring my guitar to school freshman year and play during my free periods.

Performing gave me so much satisfaction and I felt it helped me hone my enthusiasm and big personality.

Then, things took a turn by the time I was 18...

Life happened. I knew I wasn't going to become as successful as, for example, Beyonce. I started exploring other career routes, none of which resonated with me until I discovered journalism when I was 20.

I love writing and I value the educational components of journalism. In two years I gained exposure to all topics from science, crimes, politics, celebrities, and sports, which I've developed a love for as well, but nothing equated to music; it was always in the back of my mind.
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When I wrote for my community college's newspaper in the fall of 2016, I was the first one to volunteer to cover a Halloween gig for a local band called Zack Bateman and the Coal Minds:

It surprises no one that I love live music. Their enthusiasm was contagious, talent on another level.

I then asked myself if that could have been me on stage had I not put my guitar down two years prior... perhaps so?

I was having a blast in the audience, though I'd always felt 10x more into it when I was the performer.

If it isn't obvious, I couldn't stay away from any facet of the music world, especially Broadway musicals which made me miss both singing AND acting, a passion from even earlier in my childhood. I couldn't stop singing show tunes in my car, my room (when home alone) or the shower.

On a given day, too, my stepmom heard me in the shower and later said:

"You have a beautiful voice, a singing one. You should really start lessons again!"

​Hopeful and with her encouragement in mind, I briefly took some voice lessons in the spring of 2018 before I enrolled at Boston University that fall. They helped me realize I didn't lose the all the fundamentals of singing, but my unpleasant rationale still got the best of me:

"Be real, Alexandra. You started later than most successful singers today; your chances of becoming awe-worthy back then were slim, so try to imagine now. PLUS, you just enrolled at one of the best communication schools in the country, not a BFA program. That should be your focus."

​I'm now calling bullshit on my own thought, which is difficult for me sometimes as I can be a very noticeable self-critic.

​At the start of 2019, I made a friend in Boston (featured on drums in both videos below) who introduced me to the scene at Berklee College of Music. Initially, I asked him to help with connections for my journalism assignments, such as interviews with different musicians he plays for. I gained so much more from this introduction than just extra points on my articles.

​I've linked brief videos (taken with my iPhone) of two very talented Berklee artists I took particular interest in. They provided inspiration, motivation and a sense of both familiarity and what I could be​ doing if I picked things back up.

I wrote a profile for one of my classes on this lovely soul, Blythe Schulte, who stunned me with her strong, powerful, jazzy voice. She is multi-racial, like me; we are both seven different ethnicities, a topic which came up in our first interview and sparked lengthy, amusing conversations. This is one of the initial reasons I took a heavy interest in her.

In addition, though, she hones her cultural appreciation through her music, which is mostly jazz and blues influenced. These are genres I was never super familiar with, but greatly appreciate. I have always been an advocate for self expression through music AND for learning from others' creativity.

​Blythe, now one of my closest friends, has particularly influenced me to become more in-touch with my own roots as she is (in the video, she is singing an original song in Mandarin called "Yearning").

Seeking a Thursday night study break, I went to see this talented country star, Sydney Matlock, per my friend's invitation. Her sound is directly up my alley, for one thing; I love country music especially when there are elements of pop woven in.

​Sydney was incredible, and watching her sing and play her guitar made me reminisce about, well, my days. Her performance style reminded me a lot of my own, and I thought to myself that moment, "Alexandra, do you remember how good it felt?"

​I did. I still do.

My multiple-year long contemplation of picking up my guitar and/or a microphone came to an end after exposure to the Berklee scene; I guess you could say it was my selling point. I compared it to the time I went skydiving. I knew jumping out of the airplane would be an unforgettable experience, but I was hesitant for expected reasons. The instructor pushed me out of the plane without warning. This sounds semi-terrifying, but I couldn't stop smiling.

​The push out of the plane that day almost screamed, "You'll regret not doing it!" Similar deal here as far as the "push" goes. In this case, it was more of a re-affirmation that being involved in music does, in fact, enrich my life.

I am playing my guitar daily and receiving formal voice training again here in Boston. I have not lost everything; some music skills actually came right back. My instructors here have affirmed this, too. I'm not starting from scratch.

Lately, I've been asking myself why I ever took that hiatus. There are so many "could-have-been" scenarios, but a journey is never about how you start, it's how you end.

Age was always the biggest part of my rationale for not opening up an old box of happiness. If I'm almost 23  and have not lost everything in a sufficiently large time interval without an avid music pursuit, I'm not sure I will.

As far as my career goals, I will continue in the communications field, but I am completely aware now that I was always meant to be involved in music in some shape, way or form whether I perform regularly again or make it my beat/journalistic/communications-related focus. Or both.

​Yeah, both! I'm going to do both.

The photo collection below contains memories from 2010-2013.